The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
