Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
