so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
This is classic penis vs brain.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
