the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
