My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
