we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Randomize
