You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
It's blow job season.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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