My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Houston, we have a squirter
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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