you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
