This girl is more easily done than said...
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
