I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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