Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
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