i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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