He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
