it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
