I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
