I think I died a long time ago.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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