Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
