i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
