Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
