So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
