at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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