If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
That accounts for only three of the penises
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
