Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
