Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
