It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
