Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
