"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
BRING THE BAGELS
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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