Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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