What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
