Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I lost the right to judge tonight
The convent might be a nice break from real life
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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