Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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