tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
