chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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