yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
