Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
