peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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