Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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