The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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