It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
