i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
