I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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