I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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