pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
