wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
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