What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
