Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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