why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
