I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
and she was petting her beer can
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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