The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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