Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
